O this ragabash of clowns leading the national parade with their upside trickle downs their ships for shoes and flappy gowns— their huuuuuge fake news charade! O hang this ragabash of clowns and the unfunny mess they’ve made with their treacle nonsense nouns and gibberish through smiles as frowns their constant in and out charade. … Continue reading The Parade Makes a Hard Right into Chaos
“You know, really, pickles aren’t green,” Edna said. She was emptying a jar of koshers into her mouth. Vern, per usual and to remain on the safe side, did not say anything. He kept head down and his brown, work leathered hand dipping the soup spoon into the oatmeal and lifting it into his mouth. … Continue reading Pickles are not Among the Chosen.
The first thing Phill Uperdone noticed that early November morning was that yellow was everywhere. The next thing he noticed is that there was no purple. The studio was a vast wash of yellow ocher and cadmium yellow (deep, medium, and pale); there were lemon, Indian, golden and gamboge yellows, and these were smeared, sprayed, … Continue reading Phil Paints Tighty-Whiteys (Unfortunately)
“Did you bring his bail,” the girl with bright chartreuse hair said. She grinned. It was a smirk. “No,” “Obviously,” she said. I did not ask her why she bothered to ask the question. She sat on a high stool in a little room. There was a thick glass window between her and me. Her … Continue reading I’ll Take Thirty Days Till Spring
In the morning, OM and I walked to O’Maley’s for a job. Mother stayed with Too Many to nurse him along. He had pneumonia. We had enough for maybe two-three days to pay for Too Many’s room at the Tuck Me Inn. Doc Randy said he needed a couple of weeks rest, at least. So … Continue reading The Reason I Need This Job
Too Many leaned his hands over the fire barrel. He was shivering. “Jeeze, it’s cold,” he said. A thin sheen of sweat glowed on his face. In this cold that couldn’t be a good thing. “You Ok? Toom,” I said. “Jeeze, it’s cold.” I looked at the clock on the tower behind the church. The … Continue reading A Hospital Bed at the Tuck Me Inn
There is no other in this glaze— where in the eye is always I— and where a you is only haze or mere polish to clarify. Narcissism
Tantrump (usually a noun, neuter but used to refer to males only; back formed from the verb to tantrump; could be adjectivized, adverbed, prepositioned or weaponized)—a large mean souled personage who cheats on wives, employees, customers and other decent people while lying to cover his cheats. Also known for definite archaic racial views that postulate … Continue reading It Aint Original, but It Is What It Is.
The problem with parallel universes is there is no such thing as parallel anything. I mean, just stand in the middle of a Montana highway and look. Two white lines that, up close and personal, look like they are parallel and exactly twenty-five feet apart. But look really, really close and you see that these … Continue reading Parallel Means Someday the USA gets more Trumped
Of all the animals in this universe, the most ineffective, most inefficient, most diabolically destructive is that monster mankind. That we know of. There may be a planet somewhere out there in the nethers of space on which exists a sister species who is using their allotted two-hundred thousand years—give or take a million—to develop … Continue reading The Losing Champs of the Universe