Judge Ira Pottsdinger was not happy, he was a man of Justice. Mercy was an afterthought. A day without a conviction was a day when hell froze over for Judge Ira Pottsdinger. “What the hell (he was going to say ‘fuck’ but Defense was a woman, and so he was in mixed company) do you … Continue reading Ike Pleads the Fifth
“Zip it,” Midge always said. “Zip it kid, or you’re gonna die.” And she would mug what she meant by zipping her thumb and forefinger across her grim lips. "Zip." So this is exactly what Ike did. He zipped it. He was eight years old at the time and figured that zipping it was his … Continue reading Midge and Ike on the Lam
When you answer all the wrong questions, they do this to you. They asked, “who was the greatest writer in the Universe?” “I am unaware of any great writers outside this solar system,” I told them. They persisted, “Who is the greatest writer of this solar system,” they said. They caveated this with, “for God’s … Continue reading Answer Correctly and Nobody Listens
“Remember Di Whilsawl?” Brent said. “You mean that hottie who was here Junior year?” Ferdie perked up. “Yeah, I think Junior.” “ooohweee,” Ferdie said, “when she walked, she WALKED.” He swung his shoulders. “Oh, sweet Jesus,” Gail said. “There isn’t anything either of you could say about her except she had tits and a can … Continue reading The Sandbox of Old High School Memories
Pete Direpall ducked back into the bank. Usually when somebody ducks like that they are hiding from a creditor or an X or a naughty girlfriend. But this was not the case for Pete Direpall. After thirty years of usury, he was rich beyond belief. He could use thousand dollar bills for toilet paper and … Continue reading Why Pete Direpall Sometimes Ducked out the Back Door
How and why and when Jonas Ammitian caught the biggest rainbow trout in the world is in part because of the man he met in a bar in West Bench, Montana, but mostly because of the kerfuffle being made of his life at the time. Jonas was not even a fisherman. He was a plain, salt … Continue reading How Loud Does a Thirty-Two Finned Fish Whistle Blow?
Breed came into the country with nothing. The horse he rode in on he possessed but did not own. It was said that the shirt he wore he got off a dead man after a fight in Denver or St. Louis or California. There were many men who knew of the fight, knew witnesses or … Continue reading A Man is a Measly Thing
In the early afternoon on Monday of the third week, Jordan Wilmerton rode up beside the wagon and said, “Well, Amanda, you are headed back to the States now.” “The States are East, Mr. Wilmerton,” she grinned at him. “That’s North. That’s Montana.” Montana had been a destination now for nearly a month. Montana, and … Continue reading “That’s North, That’s Montana,” She Said.
I looked at the clock on the tower behind the big church, and it was 11:32. It was five hours and twenty-eight minutes until they served at the shelter. I crossed Main and went up 2nd past the fruity tutti bar. Everybody knows me here and just scowl and tell me to move along. They … Continue reading I Only Go Because I Need
This morning Archie Dwiddlen was retrospecting about some of our old neighbors. It seems Alden and Issac were neighbors with a fence between them. There was a some confusion about who should maintain the fence. Alden was pretty sure it was Issac’s potion of the fence that Alden’s mongrel angus bull was sneaking through to … Continue reading A Neighbor, a Bull, Some Purebred Cows, and a Dilapidated Fence.